Good For You
by FinnGrrPupPet
Summary: An unusual fic, not sure how to descibe it. An overview on S/B I guess. Short, one-off.


**Hey! Yes, I know, I should be working on 'Things Happen', but I really felt like writing this –**

**CAN I PLEASE ASK ALL YOU LOVELY READERS TO READ THE SONG LYRICS AS THEY ARE VITAL TO THIS FICTION!!! (they are between these lines --)**

**Please please, I know, sometimes I don't bother either, but please, I've written this around the lyrics!**

**Discalimer: I don't own a thing, the lyrics belong to – Third Eye Blind  - 'Good For You'**

**_--Hey will you stay awhile   
My smile will not mislead you--_**

"Slayer. Stay. Please."

"No."

Buffy pulled her legs over the bed and bent over, picking up her clothes. Another night. Another time she didn't want. Another time when she felt so right for just a few seconds.

**_--Cause I've been alone   
My faith turned to stone   
Still there's something in you I believe in--_**

"Please, Buffy. Don't leave me tonight. I need you here, pet. I promise. We won't do anything. Just stay."

"Spike."

"Please."

Closing her eyes for a moment, exhaustion took over. "Okay."

Her weakness echoed with the boots that hit the floor. Blowing out the few candles beside them, Buffy lay back on the bed. Spike's eyes looked down at her with that feeling that she denied he could have, so the blond Slayer turned her back to it and tried to sleep.

--**_ Close to the pierce I go wild and fierce   
Still I let you be, I feel you next to me   
Cause inside I feel a wind that starts to blow   
I'm taken in your undertow --  
  
_**

Pushing aside his physical urges, Spike unwittingly set himself up to be faced with the emotional ones. Then came the non-demonic aching that possessed his arms to travel around the girl beside him. The vampire felt her tense and a small, powerful hand come over his own, no doubt to shove it away. But the hand, though poised, relaxed and Spike once more was left with the bittersweet feelings he experienced around Buffy.

--**_ Everything is fine, I'm lonely all the time   
Cause all I want to do is be there   
For the things that you're going through--_**

As he felt her breathing regularise, his own fear soothed. She would not leave now. The silence would not torture him tonight. The irony of their relationship was almost humorous in the moonlight. Buffy thought that she used Spike to feel again and that all he wanted was to bed her. It was this view of demons that sneered at Spike when he held her close. He wanted to feel to. He wanted to love her properly. Not in the distance. Not in vain. Not in the gutter-back-alleys. Out in the open. In the sunlight. 

**_--Well, is it good for you, is it good for you--_**

But he knew it would never happen. It couldn't. Buffy would feel again. She would get over the suicidal thing. She would live. And then it would be over. The empty threats would no longer be empty. The blond beauty _would_ stop coming. And the silence would be worse. That was what scared him. The silence.

--**_ Cause you haunt my nights when   
I don't know where my life should go --  
  
_**

What was there left anyway? Buffy was everything. His Sire was gone, Dru was gone, the vampire community hated him and the human community hated him. The seconds that ticked by led up to Buffy being ok again. Would it happen? Were the late night moments holding her back? Spike knew they were. Giles had been her crutch. Now it was him. The purpose of the Watcher leaving had been obliterated. Inside, the right thing called out to him – let her go. Break it off. Who could do that? No human, no superhuman could let the purpose of their existence go like that however much they loved her. No, Spike would let her figure it out in the time it would take. If not him, it would have been someone else or drugs or drink or stealing….

--**_ Well, is it good for you, is it good for you --  
  
_**

Nights passed, Buffy came and went as she did. But the aching grew and grew to a point that his whole mind seemed to crack and tear with the need to hold her, talk to her, care for her. The famed vampiric-vision blurred into a withdrawal-induced haze that caused the silence to take the form of looming creatures and cackling elves. 

Finally she would come and it would be ok. The monsters would leave and she would be there.

--**_ Hey child please stay a while   
My smile will not mislead you   
Cause I've been without, I go wild with doubt--_**

Somehow, that night, he knew that something had changed. He knew that if she left - he would not survive.

"Please stay."

"No. I have to take Dawn to school tomorrow morning. She needs help carrying her project in."

"I'll wake you, pet. I promise. Please Buffy. I can't-"

"No, Spike. I can't. I can't do this anymore. Any of it. I'm sorry. I know it was cruel to start this with you. You don't deserve this. It would be better if you didn't come around, just back off."

"No. I can't, Buffy I lov-"

"Don't say it."

"Please Buffy. Trust me. Please. I love you. Please Buffy. Please."

"Spike stop it. You're acting insane. I can't trust you. You're a demon. A monster."

--**_ I grab at you, I can't stop grabbing at you--_**

"No, no no."

Spike's arms grabbed at her shoulder and she tugged away.

"Let me go Spike!"

"No, Buffy please, no."

Pulling her against him, he did not notice her clawing at his skin, the blood and flesh clogging up her nails.

"SPIKE!"

"No, Buffy, pet, I love you, please, Buffy, pet."

She threw his hysterical form across the crypt and ran for the door.

"NO!" 

Lunging for her, he threw her across the room, a large red gash appearing across her neck and shoulder as she collided with a jutting rock.

--**_ Cause I feel you cross my mind   
In disarray, intoxicated ricochet--_**

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MONSTER!"

It became quiet. Very quiet. The vampire stopped dead in his tracks. Hiccupped breathing and quiet sobbing echoed through the crypt as Buffy dragged herself up against the wall and looked at him with the hatred and finality that shook Spike out of the intoxication that had taken hold of him

"Don't. Come. Near. Me." She sniffed and wiped the blood on her lip with the trembling, scratched hand that wasn't grasping the wall.

Their eyes were locked. He had made her feel again. He had made her feel enough. She was back. And he was gone.

--**_ Cause all I want to do is be there   
For the things that you're going through--_**

When she got to the door, he saw her run. As she disappeared from his vision, Spike felt his head swim into a whirlpool. Shaking, the vampire slowly lowered himself to the floor. The energy was leeched from his body and he fell from a kneeling position to lying on his side. Zombified eyes latched onto the solitary boot that was a few metres away.

--**_ Well, is it good for you, is it good for you--_**

And he knew she would never come back. And he knew that the world had ended. And he knew that in the morning he would be faced with an eternity of monsters. And something else clicked. A catatonic depression brought an eerie smile to his face. He wanted the sunlight. And he would get it.

But until then, the monsters laughed and the silence echoed.

--**_ Cause you haunt my nights when   
I don't know where my life should go--_**

~~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~~~

Please review!! This is a one off!!


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